The places we go!

So a major perk of working in Negril and working with the hotels is that they invite you to come and use their facilities. This was a fun night. A pool right on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. Just what I needed. Thank you Rockhouse (google that shit).

So my high and low of the week (yes it is Monday). High: The back roads that I walk to get to walk have been beneficial because I am meeting people that don't think I am a tourist and two women I have been chatting with have invited me to come over and cook and hang out with them. This is called integration ladies and gentlemen and it is not an easy task in a tourist community. I am making progress. I am also having a BBQ with some fellow PCV on Saturday for my birthday and we are inviting a handful of Jamaicans which is also very exciting. Ok, my low: Part of my job is to increase the capacity for Jamaicans here, skills transfer and the like. One of the things I need to do is train my supervisor (a very wise man) computer skills. I had him take a computer literacy assessment and he scored near zero. He said he felt like a dummy and I feel like I made him feel small, which is not something I want to do at all. He has been very receptive to all this and wants to learn, I just have to make sure he knows that it is ok that I know this and he doesn't. He is a very good man.

Currently my mind is in a very healthy place. It is difficult going through the adjustment phase of living in a developing country where the conveniences that you are used to do not exist. For one: air conditioning. Two: trash disposal. I have to take my trash everyday to the grocery store complex and sneak it into the one receptacle they have. Back to my healthy head space: I feel like I can do this. I am excited to do it. I have learned so much about myself in the 10 weeks that I have been here I can only imagine who I will be in two years! That being said, this is my one hangup currently: I work too much. Or, I feel I do. The thing is, I don't actually work myself to the bone. But I feel like I need more down time for my mental health. Because I am adjusting and dealing with some anxiety and all this, it would really help if I had a little more freedom with my job. It is funny that I write this and you'll know why when I walk you through my usual day. In the real world, I don't make the rules. There are 40 hour work weeks and expectations for work, but in reality, if I were able to control my work schedule a little better, I would be more efficient and effective. I am doing pretty well, but don't want to step on my supervisors toes already.

So, this is my daily routine (with some variation).
6:30 Alarm goes off, I reset it for 8:30
7:30 I wake up
8:30 I get up, pee, take out my retainers, figure out what I am going to have for breakfast and jump in the shower
8:50ish Walk around wet and naked (only time to be REALLY cool for the whole day), make my breakfast (this varies), make my iced orgasmic, climactic, instant coffee
9:00 Turn on my computer to organize my information that I am going to present to my supervisor, make my to do list for the day or add to the one I made the previous night, check work emails over my breakfast and coffee, brush my teeth, put on my spf, make sure my iPOD is charging so I can rock out when I get home
9:30 Leave for work. I walk through this back road (I will take you there whoever visits me) 1.5 miles to work saying "Good morning" with a smile on my face to all passersby and idlers. (I have been promoted in reponse from shock and awe to 'good morning dear' I love it.)
10:00 Arrive at the Recycling Center, meet with my supervisor. Most of this is just chit chat and visiting and then down to business. Relationships are super important here so production is low and talking is high.
12:30ish Leave for home for my lunch.
1:00 Shower, walk around naked while I drip dry (not cool and usually sweating unless I am sitting in front of the fan), put my clothes on and make and eat my lunch
2:00 Go to the Chamber of Commerce and do computer work, phone calls, research, etc, or go to meetings at schools, hotels, etc.
4:30-5 Leave to go home
My evenings vary but they are mostly make dinner, write emails and blog etc, and read. SOMETIMES I watch a movie but I have only watched like three since being here. I also work. As soon as I am done here I am going to install Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing on my computer and get familiar with it to use with my supervisor. And then I am going to do some preliminary research on composting with cardboard. I try to go to bed around 10pm which explains why I try to get up at 6:30, but it never works that way.

So all in all, I work from 10-12:30 and then 2:00-4:30 ish...but I always do work in the morning and when I get home. So I feel like I get a lot done, but the hours aren't out of control. So am I slacking? I think this is what I am trying to figure out. Can I work less or is that bad even though I am accomplishing a ton? It isn't even like I want more free time for fun and games. I want to have the emotional energy to go talk to my neighbors and get involved in my community. I feel pretty strained mentally just from trying to process my new life and my goals and plans here, on top of the stimulus of LIVING IN JAMAICA IN POVERTY so by the end of the night I really just want to hang out and chill in my place. So if I spent more time hanging out and chilling in my crib, I could have more energy to be in my community which is a huge part of the Peace Corps!

Moving on from that...I could go on forever with how I feel and what I should do. There are a few things in particular I need to mention. First, I love lists. They are so incredible for organization. I make lists for everything. Everyday! In fact, I have a list for this blog. I have been working on it throughout the week. One of them, number 8, the love of lists. I am not going to cover everything on my list tonight or I would go on forever, but I will say that it is nice to look back over my list because it helps me remember the things that really stick out to me the most.

For instance...I was cracking myself up the other day looking at this dead crab in the road that was flat as a pancake (Acme cartoon style). The roadkill here is two things. Giant land crabs, and huge frogs! I see way more flat crabs and mushed up frogs. There is sadly also the occasional dog. Since I am on the topic of frogs and crabs, two things: I am scared of both but crazy interested in them. They intrigue me so I investigate and naturally I get close enough and poke it or something (I know...bad) and then shriek like a little school girl. I got the best of both worlds tonight! I was walking home from my neighbor Sandy's place ( I had dinner over there. Whole wheat pasta with pumpkin and callallo and lots of butter. SO freaking good.) and on my way home a giant frog jumped in front of me and I screamed so loud that she came running thinking I was going to get killed! Nope. Just a frog. Silly me. And then, I was in here (my house) and the dog Lucky (dumb as a dalmation but cute and sweet) was barking the serious some one is in the yard bark. Well, kids have been coming in the yard picking fruit to sell and I was getting ready to go yell at them and I ran out and it wasn't a person at all (mind you I prob should have had my mace in case it was a bad bad man). It was a crab in his dog house that we call his 'villa.' Luckiest dog alive...at least he seems to know it. Anyways....this crab and him were having one hell of a battle. I took some pics. None are good but I am going to put one up anyways.

I also think I am going to start posting video blogs on Youtube. Not sure how that is going to work. I have been posting on Facebook and it takes too long and overwhelms my internet connection trying to do it on Blogger but I am going to try to Youtube. SO get ready life out there! I will keep you all posted on what ends up happening there.

It is incredible how used to bugs I am getting here. Well, bugs and lizards. I guess I am still adjusting to the frogs and crabs. There are three kinds of ants here that you see regularly. There are sugar ants, everything thing ants, and red hot ants. They all have names that I don't know, but here is the breakdown. Sugar ants are everywhere there is sugar. And, everywhere there is not, but there will be a million on anything that is sugar (which is why my cereal in in the refrigerator). They are the coolest ants I have ever had in my life. They are tiny tiny things. Unless there are a ton you don't even notice them on the wall, on the bed, on my body. They are half black and their butt half is white (thorax?) and they move like superman. Man, these things are so freaking fast. I can't even explain except for that if you rock their world they disappear in seconds in this frenzy. Next, everything ants. They eat everything (which is why everything is in my refrigerator, even my canned goods...I know..don't say anything). They are black and normal sized small ants that you see in the states everywhere. They like to crawl onto you (you don't feel it) and then bite the shit out of you. Welts exist and itch all day but it stings man. I was doing my laundry this morning and as I was hanging it to dry on the line I felt like five bites and look down and there was a whole colony on my feet consuming me and I didn't even know. Bastard ants. In the last week they have found my house. Not happy about it. Red hot ants: they are huge, red, and bite: HARD. Other than that, I only have to deal with mosquitoes in my place (if I leave the screen open), lizards, and roaches. The lizards are no longer cute. I am tired of dealing with all their little poos everywhere. The roaches I can't even take. I remember my favorite college professor telling a story of when he was doing outreach work in San Fransisco and played a game with his wife where they would turn on the lights in the kitchen and see who could count the most cockroaches. I took all his classes and heard his story over and over again thinking it was so funny and endearing. It is actually not funny and endearing. It sucks. I go into my kitchen without turning the light on and they are running everywhere and they hop! I had one jump out at me in the sink. Scared the crap out of me. So I have cockroaches, lizards, two kinds of ants, and mosquitoes. Not bad. I mean it. My place is super nice. I am just glad I don't have to take bucket showers and boil my water. I would have survived beautifully in the bush and would have loved the 'roughin it' aspect of the Peace Corps and I certainly am in some ways, but I also have a Hi/Lo right around the corner from my house and I get cell phone reception. I am good to go.

I feel like it is getting gross or weird that I speak about my intestinal adventures, but it is such a huge part of making it here. It is tough everyday. And since this blog is definitely a cultural exchange piece (readers are learning about life in Jamaica) I feel like it is appropriate to tell you. So I thought I had worms, not sure if I do. I took the medicine and haven't seen any, but am still having some symptoms which I still feel the need to not share for some reason. Me not sharing is seriously weird...not in the mood to get gory, even though I have some gory freaking details. Basically not sure what is going on there. I chickened out with the tape test. I woke up and thought about it but then went to the bathroom and wiped...oops. Seriously though, there are so many kinds of bowel movements here. I am not sure what is normal anymore. First of all, my stool has been a dark green and mucousy now for months and half the time it is runny. They call it runny belly here. I love it so much more than the term diarrhea. And I can deal with runny belly. I am getting used to measuring the runny belly, the urgent runny belly, and the emergency runny belly. For instance, the difference between runny belly and urgent runny belly is the first you don't know you have until you are on the toilet, the second you feel moving and know you need to find a restroom in the next ten minutes. The difference between urgent runny belly and emergency runny belly is the first you know you have five or ten minutes, the second, you get out of the shower midwash to evacuate (this happened earlier this week followed by urgent RB for the rest of the afternoon). I can handle all of this but the cramping sucks, as does the raw asshole. I am ready to be regular. That is all I will say on the matter for a while. I am poop talked out.

This blog is now so long that no one will probably get this far but I am going to leave on a good note here. I am really happy to be here. Everyday I am tested. My patience, my humility, my temper, my spirit. I am guided by wanting to make the right decisions to better myself and be good to others. Right now this involves me in Jamaica and all the emotions I feel. All the choices to make. All the mistakes to expect. This is all hard, but I am getting through everyday and am lucky enough to look inside myself everyday to reflect on this experience. These last pics are me and my bffj4e Grace. This is the contrast of how we look, and how we feel.

So much about nothing.

Oh my...has it been an interesting couple of weeks. The problem is that now that last weekend has come and gone, I am not nearly excited to write about it. Basically...me...30 other volunteers...Falmouth....birthday celebrations...skinny dipping in the ocean at 3AM....fun...fun...fun...followed by a lot of exhaustion. Because I am still adjusting to everything it is way too overstimulating everyday so processing this whole experience takes time and after a weekend of waaaay too much fun, the week was pretty tiring. But what a good week! Before I get to my good week however I have to mention: I have worms. I am pretty sure. I saw 4 in my poo last weekend and have been examining my stools and haven't seen any since so I am starting to doubt, but I still went to the pharmacy and got dewormer and took it. I thought they were gone but now I am not so sure for reasons I am feeling too bashful to mention (weird). So, in the morning, I am going to do the tape test. It's going to be ugly. It involves tape, and my butthole. I am expecting too lose a few hairs and is not how I want to start my morning but if I don't get to the bottom of this, I am going to go insane. So, if I pull out a worm or two...or see eggs, I have worms. What if I don't though? Assume I don't and welcome this weight loss? I don't have much more weight to lose. I would rather not lose anymore. All my clothes fit ugly and baggy now and I can't afford to buy more clothes.

Man, I am all over the place. I am not in the spot to blog right now, but if I don't do it now, too much time is going to pass and I want to stay in the habit of blogging. So...next, my week. Working here is frustrating in ways I have no idea how to explain. Probably because it doesn't exist in America. I am going to skip over the frustrations and go straight to the good stuff! I have been in touch with some schools and I am going to get involved with the environment clubs there and hopefully get a sustainable recycling program going. This is really good news. I miss working with youth. I also have some meetings set up at a hotel, and with a woman that distributes a product called "Earthbound" that is used instead of styrofoam and is biodegradable. It is way cool and I am hoping to get some businesses and schools to use them to reduce the waste that accumulates at an alarming rate on this ISLAND! There is only so much room for it.

I am going to save the rest of what I have to say when my computer isn't making me sweat on my clean sheets. Overall though, my head is in a good place and although I wish I could have a whole week to just be in Negril and relax and get my bearings, work is tomorrow and I am going to go. Boo, but yay because I am in the Peace Corps in Jamaica and have a job.

Eureka!

So...I laugh at my stupidity...all the time. This time is no different. I have been terribly confused as to how birds were getting into my house and pooping on my walls, counters, etc. I don't think I have written yet, but lizards here are like cockroaches! They are everywhere and every size. They climb the walls, HOP(!), and dart all over the place. These little indiscretions are not bird poo, but rather lizard shit. Ok, makes sense, but dammit...seriously.

Today was not a good day for my patience with the Jamaican mens and their 'steel'. I was in no mood to deal with them. Someone yelled out that they wanted to walk with me and I usually say 'no thank you' but today I just yelled "NO!" And then, someone offered to buy me a dress he knew I wanted (heard me yesterday ask for a price...) and I just yelled, "I don't think so!" I usually don't yell. Well, I guess it wasn't yelling...maybe raised voice with a little attitude? Who knows.

I made a yellow cake with chocolate frosting last night...playing around with my kitchen I guess. It was a splurge. It cost like $6 for both of them, half of what I make in a day. But I needed it sooooo bad. I have one small piece left 24 hours later. Mind you I brought some to my co-workers and my neighbors, but I myself have had 5 good sized pieces...in 24 hours. Amazing. I didn't have the heart to tell my friend in Jamaica who was having a bad day that I was sitting there eating a delicious cake. She still doesn't know about my cake...she certainly should.

I have more to say but my book is waiting...

On life in Jamaica.

On Laundry:
Laundry, oh laundry, why does thy not dry? Maybe because it is hurricane season and it rains every time you do your washing??? Seriously dudes, my washing strategy has not been perfected as of yet. Too much or too little detergent, can't ring it out enough for it to dry in a short period of time, can't get stains out. Handwashing is a bitch! However, there is something incredibly satisfying about it. I got so worked up and sweaty from washing my underwear that I had to take a shower!

On Smelling:
Yup, still not used to stinking. It is either the sour of sweat all day, the musk from sweating all day (yes there is a sour and a musk), or the mildew from my clothes because I haven't perfected my handwashing! How does one get mildew black splotches out of clothing? Beats me, but I need to know. I will say, there is something really amazing about smelling though. It means you have been doing something worth while...well usually. It means that I walk two miles a day in the sun to and from work. It means that I am in Jamaica. It means that I am trying, even though it is difficult.

On Heat:
It is hot here. Like really hot. I am trying to adjust and be the strong, brave, wonder woman I fantasize about being, but the heat kicks my ass. I still trudge along and I do it well, but the heat makes me sick! I can't keep up with liquids. I drink water all day. Like a gallon a day, but still it is like I can feel the life evaporating off of me throughout the day. It makes me want to swim and to sleep. The funny part is that the water isn't cold enough and my room isn't even close to being cool so another thing about the heat is that you cannot escape it no matter how hard you try!

On Food:
It turns out I can cook. It is awesome. I love it. Today I made a coconut curry chicken vegetable rice bake surprise. It was incredible. Not only was it incredible, but I have now cooked for the entire week! The ingredients are as follows: coconut milk powder, curry powder, garlic, onion, carrot, sweet pepper (bell pepper), potato, green beans, eggplant, chicken, salt, and cock soup powder. Sooooo good. Oh, and this is poured over brown rice. I think it is nutritious....and delicious. Big op to Matt C. for the eggplant tip. ;) Also, jerk is the f*king bomb. I love it. I can't eat it often because it is a little too spendy for a Peace Corps budget, but dang.

On housing:
I never knew how amazing living alone could be. Roommates are good because I learned a lot about communication, boundaries, person time, space, etc, but really...living alone is incredible. I am not sure I can ever go back. I love my kitchen, everything in it is mine. I love my bathroom, everything in the cupboards are mine. I can fold my towels my way, leave things where I want them, decorate to compliment my spirit, and last but not least, I can experiment with things I have never been able to do but always wanted. First, peeing with the door open. I know lots of people do it, mainly guys, but I can just sit on the john and do my business and the door is wide open! It still makes me feel a little uncomfortable and I close it out of habit a lot but sometimes...I don't. Second, and really more importantly, nakedness. It is soooooo liberating. Today I came home for lunch and got soaked (Thanks Ike) and took off all my clothes. All my clothes. I didn't change, I just walked around my place naked. I made my lunch in my kitchen naked. I sat in my chair and ate my lunch naked. I cleaned my house and drank my instant coffee naked. I have realized for the first time that I really love to be naked.

Oh, I guess that is the good stuff. The only really bad thing is that I get scared sometimes. I have had people try to break in and steal stuff at night when I am here and I am fortified like no other with bars everywhere but every time I hear a noise in the dark I always worry if I will be able to scream if I need to for help. So dumb. It ends up being lucky the dog or fruit falling from all my fruit trees. Ugh.

On Music:
Listening to Paul Simon now. Listening a lot to Feist, Derby, Another Cynthia, Modest Mouse, Otis Redding, Johnny Cash, Ben Lee, Ryan Adams, Josh Ritter, Stars, Manu Chao, Jose Gonzales, Janis Joplin, and Fiona Apple mostly. It is all about the music. The morning routine, the chill time, the shower time, the laundry time, the dancing time, the singing time. So many occasions for music.

On Friends:
I miss everyone back home and I hope I am doing a good job keeping in touch. Doing my best...On people I am meeting here, wow. Amazing people. Funny people, beautiful people, strong people. I really hope that we will be friends for years and years. Oh, and coolest thing ever: I now have sweet hookups all over the country. Places I am most excited about: Kodiak, Alaska; Hawaii, Chicago, Georgia. Hells yes friends.

On Tanning:
It is hard to tan on purpose. You walk outside without SPF and you burn, with it you tan. I have lines all over the place. My butt is a pasty pasty white and my boobs look ridiculous. The beach is an incredible way to relax, look out at beauty, and reflect. It is amazing...and tanning is bitter sweet. I look good as a tan blond, but the cancer I may get later makes me nervous. I am trying to take care of my skin. I wear SPF Broad Spectrum 40 and apply like every 15 minutes usually. I have only burnt a couple of times since being here and never bad so I am pretty proud of myself. What I can't explain is the one tan line that goes between my boobs and halfway down my belly. It looks like someone layed a snake on my chest. I am thinking maybe laying under partial shade? Lame.

On Internet:
I am writing this from my bed. Wireless internet in the Peace Corps. Weird. I am not too ridiculous, but it has allowed me to keep up with people a lot more and read the news, blog, etc. I am just going to roll with it.

On Work:
Work is up and down, back and forth. I am still convinced that my boss is the coolest in all of Jamaica. The work that is ahead of me is really daunting because this type of work, pace of work, work ethic, etc is so different than the US that it is a constant comfort zone flirtation that sometimes I just don't have the energy for. I am going to learn a lot and hope that I am able to make some positive change. I really worry about sustainability. How do you make a market for recycling out of midair? Scary.

On Play:
I don't really know what play means. I can say that I have not been exercising in a way I am accustomed to. The 15 pounds I have lost from being sick is ok, it looks ok, not too skinny or gross, but what I can't handle is that my ass is starting to sag and turn to mush. If it goes too much more it is going to look like two pancakes hanging off my back. Not into it. It is too hot to do anything. When I get my bike i am going to start riding early in the morning and on the weekends hopefully. I miss frisbee and I am hoping to get into football (soccer) soon. Other than that, my days are pretty mentally overwhelming so by the time I get home, I love hanging out and reading, cooking, etc. I know it will get old at some point, but not yet. Right now I love my alone time. Sometimes I watch the sunset at Canoe or at the beach, usually with Brian and Yvonne. Sometimes I have visitors that come to visit. This last weekend I had four people visiting. It was a total blast. We went to the beach, cooked, listened to music and bullshitted, went to Rick's and swam. Cool stuff. This weekend is my birthday weekend and I am heading to Falmouth for the weekend to go to a volleyball tournament and have a party. It is going to be hard not to drink because I know everyone will be, but I may have one beer or two. Just not really drinking right now. Doesn't mix with my meds so I stay away.


I have more On ***s. But I am tired of writing. My computer is too damned hot now and I need to be done. What you missed out on:

On Culture Shock
On Emotions
On Needs

Sorry. Maybe next time.

This was a good blog. I really enjoyed writing it....naked.

Sweat, mold, mildew, dry clothes dry!

This is my sweat. This is what happens in Jamaica. You sweat. A lot. Even with the fan on you. That is all I got. I know. Gross.

Orgaaaasmic, Cliiimactic, Instant Coooffee!!! ...I-want-it-in-my-mouth-right-now! (That's what she said)

Man, I have been a blogging fool! I guess that happens when you have wireless internet on my bed. There are several things I want to say today. Starting with the my blog title. There are some things that are just not readily available and at my disposal. For instance, coffee shops are a rarity, as is good coffee in general. Therefore, when I'm really really jonesin for coffee, sometimes it must be instant. That being said, my blog title is actually the song I have created to get excited about my instant coffee. It's the little things you know?

Also life in Jamaica: I smell. For the first time in my life I have to wear deodorant and it isn't enough. I never stunk before, and now, when I sweat all day (I am sweating now on my bed at 8:30 pm) my skin just kind of smells sour all over. It isn't a bad sour, just not a pleasant sour. I shower twice a day and it isn't enough. It is just impossible to be dry. I sweat in the shower for heavens sake! I hand wash all my clothes and hang it to dry but when it rains and you are at work, your clothes don't exactly get dry. They get mildewy and moldy. Below is a pic of my current situation. I had to bring down all my clothes, hang them all over my room (you won't see the bathroom, kitchen, and grills on my windows) put the fan on them and will rehang them tomorrow. This doesn't seem like a big deal but I'll tell you, it is time consuming and a pain in the ass!

I also go through clothes so fast because of all the sweat that I am currently using a tank top as my sweat rag for the night since it is going in the nasty pile anyways...I feel dirty. But man, this is what I wanted!!! And this is nothing! I have mold in my white bra that won't scrub out...no bigs. I have had runny belly for 70% of my stay here, bring it on! A giant cockraoch just ran across my floor and under my bed...god help me. It is all good. I will say I bought myself a treat today. For J$180 (about 2.50USD) I bought myself some fragrance oil to dab on my neck so I don't have to smell myself. It is cherry almond and it is wonderful.

I have been up and down and back and forth and have been dealing with getting my room back in order and rearranging my furniture and things. The one aspect of my room that I have not liked are my bare walls! I need color and diversity. So today I put up some art that Grace made me. It makes me wish I would have brought something from my dad. He likes to paint me things. I also put some pics up so I can see my friends and family. I worry it might make things a little harder on me when I am having a rough day. I miss my bro and pops so dang much.

Work has been interesting. Tropical Storm Gustav completely wiped out the road that went to the recycling center. There was a land bridge made of clay going over a gully and it is just gone. There is some minor mountain climbing I now have to do to get to work. I will have to post a pic. It is intense! The inaccessible road now makes it impossible to drop of loads of materials and may hamper the progress we have been working towards. The last couple of days I have been mostly researching funding opportunities and going to meetings, but tomorrow I think I will actually be doing some planting in the nursery. One can hope anyways. I like to get my hands dirty!

I am going to go do some more organizing and then read and go to bed...and maybe play some tetris...I am going to leave you with a pic I took last week.