I actually had a wonderful Christmas. Nothing Christmasy at all, it was great. Sandy made me crepes for breakfast, then I went and spent a few hours on the beach with some volunteers, then dinner at Brian and Yvonne's. It was really laid back and relaxed. Oh! And then I went to Bill's, and expat friend and had a second dinner at his place and it was packed with the whole expat clan. My second dinner was actually just some sorrel juice and two bites of Simon's mashed potatoes, but still. So now Christmas is done and over with and tomorrow is New Years Eve.
I leave in the morning for Falmouth, about twenty minutes east of Montego Bay. Me, along with about 15 volunteers are renting out a huge house on the beach for a party. It is going to be sooo much fun. I am going to be sober sober sober, but I will get lots of pics and lots of laughs. I am wondering if we will continue our pattern of skinny dipping...it would be the third time. For the third time, I will also be the only sober one. Good times. I am really excited to see everyone. I wonder if we will do the countdown and the kisses at midnight...I could do with a little tradition. Champagne would be nice too...I'll treat myself to a glass I suppose...
I didn't mention in my last post, but my results from Kingston showed that I have an ulcer. That being said, I have been taking special care to eat things that are bland and boring for the sake of the whole in my stomach. It is healing, and not as bad at all, but I got a lengthy call from the nurse at Peace Corps who told me that ulcers, once you get one, come back really easily so I am being very careful. That being said, I am tired of being sick. Oh yeah, and I am getting a cold. I am really tired of feeling icky. Ok, that is enough complaining out of me. Just had to say it.
Other than that, things are good over here. The road at the Recycling Center got fixed yesterday after Tropical Storm Gustav washed it away in August. Four months out of business makes us very excited that it is fixed. It is about damn time! Things are moving along at work, but there is so much to do and it takes so long to get anything done that there are 30 balls rolling at once and I can't keep them all straight. I am not actually very happy at the Chamber. I am not unhappy I suppose. I am just getting wind of all the politics involved in every decision that is made and it isn't benefiting the community as it could. I feel like they claim to be a benefit to the community, but all the members are business owners who are really only looking out for their best interest. It is really frustrating. This means that no one is really interested in what my supervisor and I are doing unless it means that it is benefiting them in some way. So when we need to get approval for stuff people just don't answer. But oh well.
I am not sure if this is possible or makes any sense at all, but being here, I feel more together and sure of myself. I feel like I am learning and growing and becoming older and wiser. At the same time, I feel like I have never been so clueless and scattered about how I feel, what I want, and how to do anything. Because of this, I am experiencing highs and lows that I feel unfamiliar with. I think I experienced them at home too, everyone has good days and bad days, but when they happen here, especially the bad days, I feel so isolated and alone.
Today was actually a bad day. I was mad mad mad. Frustrated and fed up. I left work at like 3:30 because I was on the brink of tears and told myself I was going to work from home. This actually looked like me in the fetal position in my bed wishing I could just go to sleep and lose the lost feeling. But I called and talked to my pops and felt better. Thanks pops. My emotions get to a point where they are manageable and then at some point they spill over and there is not stopping them. But enough of this as well. This is just a bad day. Most of my days are amazing and full of adventure!
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