Life here is a struggle. I know. Look how I started this blog already. What a downer...psych! It is a struggle even when it is good. You know when you get off the phone from talking to a boy and you are all giddy and have to run around the house squealing (maybe I just do this...maybe I don't?). This sort of excitement and euphoria is so intense that you cannot contain it. What about when you feel like you have just given up on life and want to just lay in your bed and try not to exist. This type of intense emotional pain is so bad that you just disappear inside yourself. Now imagine that these two extremes collide into each other and are in your head while you are trying to function in a foreign country. This might be the best way to explain my struggle. There is so much to process here. So much to understand and embrace and accept. This includes cultural issues, social issues, economic issues, and lastly, my own issues. What are my issues? Nothing too exciting. More like tedious. Trying to wrap my brain around everything I am trying to take in. Examining and choosing to reflect on my experiences, my reactions, and what I can learn. Recognizing that I need to work on my patience and expectations. Recognizing that I am way too hard on myself. So this is why it is a struggle. I choose for it to be. I am not in school anymore but I am learning so much about myself and what I am capable of. I have already been able to see so many strengths in myself that before were invisible. I have also been humbled by discovering things about myself that I also had not previously seen. So does that mean I have had a self-esteem boost or (word for opposite of boost)? I say they have canceled each other out and what is left is growth, and that aint bad. That is all I am going to say about that. This blog doubles are my journal these days so thank you for reading my therapeutic scribbles (typing really).
My dad is here! He is visiting for a whole month. There are so many things that I want to do with him, but because I am working and things here are spendy, we can do few. That is ok though. There is easily a month worth of things to do in my area so that is what we are going to do. When I first arrived here I was so full of questions and everything was so amazing, and hot, and stinky, and exciting. Now I get to see my dad go through that stuff. His first traditional Jamaican breakfast: Ackee and Saltfish, yellow yam, boiled banana, boiled dumpling, fried dumpling. His first 'smalling up' in a taxi. His first dip in the caribbean. His first rasta smoking the ganja on the street sighting. It is all very fun, and cute. I have every intention of putting him to work at the recycling center.
Let's see...anything else to report...I don't think so. I am jet lagged and not sleeping well. Went to make tea and my kitchen light is burnt out. Can't be bothered to cook in the dark. I burn myself enough in the light. My laundry is a huge issue at the moment. I am out of underwear (did I mention I was leaving tomorrow for the weekend?) and the whites I bleached got soaked when I forgot them hanging outside...again. I am worried about my spending. I don't want to go over my allowance again, I can't afford it. I am officially a wuss and now have hot water showers every day. I now have three scars from my recent tummy burns (see blog from a couple weeks back). Enough random information? I think so.
Likl more.
Holy hell! I almost forgot! I planted a garden on my roof. All that is growing is the abundance of lettuce varieties, but still....awesome! Oh, and swiss chard, and zuchinni. Sweet. See pics.
Me planting on my rooftop
Two weeks later!!!
My dad is here! He is visiting for a whole month. There are so many things that I want to do with him, but because I am working and things here are spendy, we can do few. That is ok though. There is easily a month worth of things to do in my area so that is what we are going to do. When I first arrived here I was so full of questions and everything was so amazing, and hot, and stinky, and exciting. Now I get to see my dad go through that stuff. His first traditional Jamaican breakfast: Ackee and Saltfish, yellow yam, boiled banana, boiled dumpling, fried dumpling. His first 'smalling up' in a taxi. His first dip in the caribbean. His first rasta smoking the ganja on the street sighting. It is all very fun, and cute. I have every intention of putting him to work at the recycling center.
Let's see...anything else to report...I don't think so. I am jet lagged and not sleeping well. Went to make tea and my kitchen light is burnt out. Can't be bothered to cook in the dark. I burn myself enough in the light. My laundry is a huge issue at the moment. I am out of underwear (did I mention I was leaving tomorrow for the weekend?) and the whites I bleached got soaked when I forgot them hanging outside...again. I am worried about my spending. I don't want to go over my allowance again, I can't afford it. I am officially a wuss and now have hot water showers every day. I now have three scars from my recent tummy burns (see blog from a couple weeks back). Enough random information? I think so.
Likl more.
Holy hell! I almost forgot! I planted a garden on my roof. All that is growing is the abundance of lettuce varieties, but still....awesome! Oh, and swiss chard, and zuchinni. Sweet. See pics.
Me planting on my rooftop
Two weeks later!!!
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