Tuesday, April 21, 2009

"All your problems will go away if you just don't care as much"

Says my brother. Apparently, I am sensitive. Ya think! I care too much. I am too sensitive. I know these things. But, at the same time, I don't think that I want to not care. Maybe I couldn't accomplish as much if I were more apathetic. At the same time, my regulator seems a little out of whack.

Case in point: There is a dog next door. Bubbles/Sophie/Spot. She is this sweet little dog not 2 years old and is neglected, tied to a tree, and has about a foot and a half on her chain. I have done nothing about it. I have brought her food on occasion, but she isn't skinny. She is kinda fat. She is fed, her life is just empty and miserable. What am I supposed to do about that? She got pregnant. Her nine babies turned into one. I am not expecting it to survive. I have walked past this dog everyday several times a day wondering if I shouldn't feed her better food, make sure she has lots of water, etc. I feel like I watched these puppies dwindle and die and I did nothing. My logic was to help them survive so that they can have miserable lives, or let nature run its course. It was hard, and I'm not sure I made the right decision, but something is keeping me from intervening. It isn't keeping my stomach from turning everyday (literally unfortunately). What do I do? I am trying to observe, and learn. To understand why things are the way they are.

I am frustrated with all the unnecessary pain and suffering I see everyday everywhere. I can't fix it all. All I can do is be the very best person I can be and try to learn about how the world works so that I can make a positive impact in it.

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