God damn I'm an asshole, and I made a new friend.

Man, sometime it gets away from me and I don't even realize it until I say something so stupid and insensitive. I am not a poor Jamaican. By Jamaican standards I am not a poor American in Jamaica. However, by my American standards, I am a poor American in Jamaica. Since I am American, although I try to be as open to learning and culturally aware as possible, I can make the stupid and insensitive remarks that make me an asshole...to my new friend. My new friend who was asking me about how I live here, where, who pays me. All the normal who the heck are you and what are you doing in my country questions. And I ran my mouth off (money issues this month due to PC not reimbursing me in a timely manner, although I was venting about being poor in general). Then I found out my new friend works as hard as I do and gets paid almost half as much. I forget sometimes that the socioeconomic set up is so different that overall perspectives on everyday life changes from culture to culture. Being poor is a way of life for most people in Jamaica. There is a huge very lower class, a marginal middle class and high class. It might be a shock to us to live the way we do, but to Jamaicans, we have nothing to complain about... and they are right. Stories here that would make us Americans hold our breath and shed a tear, are just stories people tell in conversation because they are so commonplace and accepted.

I messed up today. It was humbling. Reflecting on it feels good, minus the being an asshole part. Thank you Jamaica for giving me this opportunity to learn. And grow.

My new friend is going to teach me how to cook. Ackee and saltfish, dumplings, boiled and fried, callalloo, yams, breadfruit, stewed peas, curry goat, curry chicken, rice and peas...I am excited.

My new friend is going to teach me how to braid. I want to take that skill home with me. I would like to be able to french braid my own hair.

I hope this works out. If this works out the way I hope, I may have just been adopted into a family here. Kind, smart, sweet people.

I wish I could type more. I want to tell you all about it, but it is so late and I can't sleep because I am afriad I am going to get raided by a bunch of angry roaches (Houston we have a problem). But that doesn't mean I am not tired.