I am bored tonight. BORED. BoReD. B_o-R_e-D. I have plenty to keep me busy too. My brain is just in a weird spot. Nothing seems to satisfy me. Not even food. I know why too. It is because I can't do what I want to do. I am stuck in my house because it isn't safe outside and I just want to go take a walk on the beach. I want to be invisible and just be alone and with my thoughts but not in a 10' by 10' box doing that. It's fine though. Just wish I hadn't drank so much coffee today...I am REALLY awake.
My new favorite thing is to buy a coconut with the stuff inside to eat. I pry it from the shell with a butter knife and eat the nut part of it. It is soooo tasty, but it gets caught in my teeth. Like popcorn kernels. I don't like it. It makes me grumpy.
I am sitting on my floor writing this right now for some reason. Not sure why. My ipod just stopped playing Come and Find me album by Josh Ritter. Just sitting here...
Lucky the dog is an idiot. That is all.
UPDATE: While sitting here I just had a baby hoppy lizard jump on my foot and scare the holy shit out of me. I am serious. Lizards everywhere. The funny part is that I came up with the title of my blog before writing it...sooo appropriate.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Small bugs, big bites, milkshakes, snorkeling, and Snoop Dog.
Bugs here suck. I have cockroaches, lizards (they can be considered a bug in this instance), two kinds of ants, and mosquitoes in my place. I can't seem to get rid of them. The only ones that hurt are the mosquitoes and black ants. The mosquitoes itch which is annoying, but the black ants are on my bed, chair, and floor. They sting...really sting! And they bite me all the time. I just got bit on my toe five minutes ago and before the sting disappeared, I got another one of my lower back. Must have gotten on me when I was sitting in the chair. Son of a bitch.
It is the end of a long long long and very awesome weekend. I am ready to go back to work, and not. It is pretty stressful and overwhelming for the little that I am doing right now. Exhaustion is exhaustion and I think it is the mix of mental exhaustion from culture (namely men wanting to 'know me better' and honking taxis), mixed with heat and physical exhaustion, and then being expected to perform at 100%. Oh, and the fact that my supervisor (who is awesome) thinks of new projects before we can get previous ones started so nothing seems to ever get done. This attitude/irritation might also be my Americanized expectation of how things are done so I am trying to stay strong, but seriously...grrr + smiley face= TIJ. (TIJ=This is Jamaica...common phrase when you have no explaination for life here.)
Ok, some recent obsessions:
Milkshakes. Mostly vanilla because the chocolate is broken at Burger King. Not that I can afford them. This has been happening on the weekends. I managed one large chocolate two weekends ago, and two medium vanillas this weekend. I currently have no money so no more milkshakes. It is mostly a treat for surviving the week. I think this is the first week I have gone without a cake of some kind. Maybe this is the replacement?
Next, snorkeling is my new favorite thing. I found the coolest new place to cliff jump and snorkel for free! Well, it is a taxi ride away, but super cool, and free if I can ride my bike up there. I have seen so many awesome things. I am not even afraid of the giant jellyfish anymore now that I know how to evade them. Plus, I have gotten stung 3 times now and survived. I think I am going to invest in a snorkel set. I am worried about the $$ but it is soooooo cool and amazing. I have seen rays, and fish, and coral, and urchins. Way cool.
This weekend, I was blessed with the presence of my bffj4e Grace, who in a tired stupor last night, graced me (pun intended) with her improve Snoop Dog jokes. I told her my fav Oregon inspired joke. It goes as follows ( I think I even heard this from my bff-DC Cecilia so props to her!):
Q: Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
A: Fo drizzle!
The following are courtesy of Gracie Heart's comic genius:
Q: Why does Snoop Dog like alka-seltzer?
A: Fo fizzle!
Q: Why does Snoop Dog admire Mount Rushmore:
A: Fo chizzle!
Q: Why does Snoop Dog eat at LTU?
A: Fo schnitzel! (Not going to get it unless you have eaten the schnitzel at LTU sadly...)
AND FOR THE FINALE!!!
Q: Why does Snoop Dog hang out with Kim Jong Il?
A: Fo mizzles!!!
It is the end of a long long long and very awesome weekend. I am ready to go back to work, and not. It is pretty stressful and overwhelming for the little that I am doing right now. Exhaustion is exhaustion and I think it is the mix of mental exhaustion from culture (namely men wanting to 'know me better' and honking taxis), mixed with heat and physical exhaustion, and then being expected to perform at 100%. Oh, and the fact that my supervisor (who is awesome) thinks of new projects before we can get previous ones started so nothing seems to ever get done. This attitude/irritation might also be my Americanized expectation of how things are done so I am trying to stay strong, but seriously...grrr + smiley face= TIJ. (TIJ=This is Jamaica...common phrase when you have no explaination for life here.)
Ok, some recent obsessions:
Milkshakes. Mostly vanilla because the chocolate is broken at Burger King. Not that I can afford them. This has been happening on the weekends. I managed one large chocolate two weekends ago, and two medium vanillas this weekend. I currently have no money so no more milkshakes. It is mostly a treat for surviving the week. I think this is the first week I have gone without a cake of some kind. Maybe this is the replacement?
Next, snorkeling is my new favorite thing. I found the coolest new place to cliff jump and snorkel for free! Well, it is a taxi ride away, but super cool, and free if I can ride my bike up there. I have seen so many awesome things. I am not even afraid of the giant jellyfish anymore now that I know how to evade them. Plus, I have gotten stung 3 times now and survived. I think I am going to invest in a snorkel set. I am worried about the $$ but it is soooooo cool and amazing. I have seen rays, and fish, and coral, and urchins. Way cool.This weekend, I was blessed with the presence of my bffj4e Grace, who in a tired stupor last night, graced me (pun intended) with her improve Snoop Dog jokes. I told her my fav Oregon inspired joke. It goes as follows ( I think I even heard this from my bff-DC Cecilia so props to her!):
Q: Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
A: Fo drizzle!
The following are courtesy of Gracie Heart's comic genius:
Q: Why does Snoop Dog like alka-seltzer?
A: Fo fizzle!
Q: Why does Snoop Dog admire Mount Rushmore:
A: Fo chizzle!
Q: Why does Snoop Dog eat at LTU?
A: Fo schnitzel! (Not going to get it unless you have eaten the schnitzel at LTU sadly...)
AND FOR THE FINALE!!!
Q: Why does Snoop Dog hang out with Kim Jong Il?
A: Fo mizzles!!!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I AM A BADASS
Life is good. As I say often, life is hard, but so so good.
A lot can happen in a day...or a weekend even. Let me start with Thursday.
Thursday a friend comes up and we get a call from the manager of the Rockhouse. He gets me, and four other Peace Corps volunteers from the area to come and have dinner on the house. My friend Nick and I end up getting to stay in one of the rooms. It was awesome. By 3pm we were poolside being served free drinks and talking about life in the Peace Corps. I think I was a little too excited because I downed three delicious margaritas after only haven eaten yogurt for breakfast. Lets just say I didn't make it to dinner, but I heard it was awesome! The next morning was breakfast on the house served to our room, followed by a couple hours poolside and then some amazing snorkeling. We snorkeled in and out and around a ton of caves and saw some pretty cool stuff. Two high points, first high point: Seeing a manta ray that had a wingspan of a good 5-6 feet. It was totally awesome and we tried to follow it for a while but it was too fast for us. Second high point: We had to navigate through a jellyfish land mine to get back to the hotel. These aren't little cute jellyfish either. They are big fuckers! Bright and purple and the size of my head. We made it unscathed. I don't remember what was next...oh..we met Grace my bffj and we relaxed for a but at my place before heading up to Brian and Yvonnes (married PC couple in Negril) for dinner, drinks, stories, and games.
Saturday: Today...now tonight. Saturday was awesome. Relaxed, napped, ate, but two very cool things happened as well. First cool thing: Well cool, scary, exciting anyways. I got attacked by a big honking fish! I was swimming with Tom after cliff jumping and we had snorkel gear tossed down to us. We are swimming and looking around and I suddenly feel this pinch on my leg. I knew it wasn't a jellyfish because it didn't sting and burn. I look underwater and there is this damned dark yellow fish about 2 feet long and 4 inches thick with a big flat snout swimming right for me. I starts biting me all over and I am kicking and screaming and trying to punch it and missing every time. Tom doesn't know what the hell is going on so he looks under the water and sees this thing having its way with me. I finally got it to swim away and it went after Tom!!! He was able to shoo it away and it came right back for me. This wasn't a curious cute fish. This was a scary as shit fish that was on the attack. I was able to pester it away and it swam off but I didn't know if it was going to come back so I swam out of the water. But even getting out of the water was a hassle because there was no ladder. I had Andy reaching down for me and I had to take of the snorkel gear and throw it up but I didn't throw it high enough and it sank into the water. Tom had to jump in the water to fetch them. So it took a while but I finally got out of the water and not a mark on me! Unscathed...so weird. I got bit so many times. Ok, second cool thing: we all went to LTU a local bar to watch the baseball game but I lost interest in about 34 seconds and went to talk to Bill, the owner. We chatted for a while and he had asked me on another encounter to round up some volunteers to work at this Donkey Race event in February to paint faces. I said sure but after thinking about it I realized I don't want to volunteer, I want to race! So tonight I told him I want to race a donkey and he said it wasn't possible, but by the end of the night, he said I could race his donkey. He told me the Jamaican men on the donkeys were rough and tough and I said I can take em!!! That's it out of me. It is a three day weekend and it is only Saturday. Two days left...yay!
A lot can happen in a day...or a weekend even. Let me start with Thursday.
Thursday a friend comes up and we get a call from the manager of the Rockhouse. He gets me, and four other Peace Corps volunteers from the area to come and have dinner on the house. My friend Nick and I end up getting to stay in one of the rooms. It was awesome. By 3pm we were poolside being served free drinks and talking about life in the Peace Corps. I think I was a little too excited because I downed three delicious margaritas after only haven eaten yogurt for breakfast. Lets just say I didn't make it to dinner, but I heard it was awesome! The next morning was breakfast on the house served to our room, followed by a couple hours poolside and then some amazing snorkeling. We snorkeled in and out and around a ton of caves and saw some pretty cool stuff. Two high points, first high point: Seeing a manta ray that had a wingspan of a good 5-6 feet. It was totally awesome and we tried to follow it for a while but it was too fast for us. Second high point: We had to navigate through a jellyfish land mine to get back to the hotel. These aren't little cute jellyfish either. They are big fuckers! Bright and purple and the size of my head. We made it unscathed. I don't remember what was next...oh..we met Grace my bffj and we relaxed for a but at my place before heading up to Brian and Yvonnes (married PC couple in Negril) for dinner, drinks, stories, and games.
Saturday: Today...now tonight. Saturday was awesome. Relaxed, napped, ate, but two very cool things happened as well. First cool thing: Well cool, scary, exciting anyways. I got attacked by a big honking fish! I was swimming with Tom after cliff jumping and we had snorkel gear tossed down to us. We are swimming and looking around and I suddenly feel this pinch on my leg. I knew it wasn't a jellyfish because it didn't sting and burn. I look underwater and there is this damned dark yellow fish about 2 feet long and 4 inches thick with a big flat snout swimming right for me. I starts biting me all over and I am kicking and screaming and trying to punch it and missing every time. Tom doesn't know what the hell is going on so he looks under the water and sees this thing having its way with me. I finally got it to swim away and it went after Tom!!! He was able to shoo it away and it came right back for me. This wasn't a curious cute fish. This was a scary as shit fish that was on the attack. I was able to pester it away and it swam off but I didn't know if it was going to come back so I swam out of the water. But even getting out of the water was a hassle because there was no ladder. I had Andy reaching down for me and I had to take of the snorkel gear and throw it up but I didn't throw it high enough and it sank into the water. Tom had to jump in the water to fetch them. So it took a while but I finally got out of the water and not a mark on me! Unscathed...so weird. I got bit so many times. Ok, second cool thing: we all went to LTU a local bar to watch the baseball game but I lost interest in about 34 seconds and went to talk to Bill, the owner. We chatted for a while and he had asked me on another encounter to round up some volunteers to work at this Donkey Race event in February to paint faces. I said sure but after thinking about it I realized I don't want to volunteer, I want to race! So tonight I told him I want to race a donkey and he said it wasn't possible, but by the end of the night, he said I could race his donkey. He told me the Jamaican men on the donkeys were rough and tough and I said I can take em!!! That's it out of me. It is a three day weekend and it is only Saturday. Two days left...yay!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Pool, rastas playing pool and smoking ganka, and me watching the presedential debate. Sweet.
Hello! Things I want to share with you:
First, integration can be really difficult. My patience is not always there and guys especially are hard to deal with. There is a bar/car wash (I know, right) across the street from my house and I was at a loss for where to watch the debate tonight. I decided to go there alone, and at night. Two things I haven't done yet. I texted two people to tell them what I was up to as to not be totally irresponsible. I got there and I was the only girl amidst about ten men. I asked if I could watch the debate and realized I had no money to buy anything. I have talked to the owner a few times so he knew me. I called him over and told him that I knew it was totally rude to come and not buy anything but that I didn't feel safe walking to the ATM this late by myself. This is not a big fancy bar. It is a Jamaican rum bar, much like a dive bar in the states. Think Billy Rays, but open air and not as hipster. He was so nice and took my hand and said that he would like to buy me a beer and not to worry. Although this made me nervous, worried about expectations later, I still accepted as I thought he would be offended if I didn't.
So there I am, the only white person, only woman there, and the guys were just sitting around chatting, smoking ganja, playing pool, and dominoes and not one person came up and harrassed me. It was AMAZING AND UNPRECEDENTED. Yay. There is this one rasta I have talked to a few times. We yelled at the TV together it was great. It is the little things that make me so happy here. It rarely even has to do with my job. Just getting to know people is so great.
I said first, but it was also last. I am tired. And hungry. Probably not going to eat though. Three cups of tea and my elastic band here I come.
Yay me.
I had a very frustrating day at work and this was an incredible way to end it.
Ok, I am really done now.
First, integration can be really difficult. My patience is not always there and guys especially are hard to deal with. There is a bar/car wash (I know, right) across the street from my house and I was at a loss for where to watch the debate tonight. I decided to go there alone, and at night. Two things I haven't done yet. I texted two people to tell them what I was up to as to not be totally irresponsible. I got there and I was the only girl amidst about ten men. I asked if I could watch the debate and realized I had no money to buy anything. I have talked to the owner a few times so he knew me. I called him over and told him that I knew it was totally rude to come and not buy anything but that I didn't feel safe walking to the ATM this late by myself. This is not a big fancy bar. It is a Jamaican rum bar, much like a dive bar in the states. Think Billy Rays, but open air and not as hipster. He was so nice and took my hand and said that he would like to buy me a beer and not to worry. Although this made me nervous, worried about expectations later, I still accepted as I thought he would be offended if I didn't.
So there I am, the only white person, only woman there, and the guys were just sitting around chatting, smoking ganja, playing pool, and dominoes and not one person came up and harrassed me. It was AMAZING AND UNPRECEDENTED. Yay. There is this one rasta I have talked to a few times. We yelled at the TV together it was great. It is the little things that make me so happy here. It rarely even has to do with my job. Just getting to know people is so great.
I said first, but it was also last. I am tired. And hungry. Probably not going to eat though. Three cups of tea and my elastic band here I come.
Yay me.
I had a very frustrating day at work and this was an incredible way to end it.
Ok, I am really done now.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
And then there was SHIT.
Yesterday I had my first regional conference for the environment sector. It ran about 5 hours and was about 2 hours from Negril in Santa Cruz at RADA (Rural Agricultural Development Agency). Two environment volunteers live there and organized it. After not seeing them for over a month, this is how our conversation went:
Andrea: Hey how are you??!! Sorry it smells so bad in here. (very smelly inside meeting room)
Me: Hey! I'm good. I don't mind the smell at all actually. I like it. I grew up in the country and miss the smell of cow.
Andrea: Really? There aren't any cows around here. I think it is dog shit.
Me: Um, oh. Yeah.
Tami, queen of smooth. Seriously people, why?
The meeting was alright. It was actually really boring and hot. Needed, but long, boring and hot. Because it was boring, I will recap the highlights. First, I got curried goat for lunch. I LOVE curried goat. It tastes a lot like lamb. Really fatty and soft and delicious...mmm. It is too expensive to buy usually but lunch was free. Second, my supervisor fell asleep. I had to nudge him awake. Oh Obie-wan-kanobi. How I adore thee. I had a third but forgot what it was. Oh! I remember. I got seeds. A ton of them. Like 15 packets. Mind you they are expired Wal-Mart seeds that I was told by a farmer in Negril they probably won't grow well. But I want to grow a garden. I want the project. I get to get dirty, and weed, and watch things grow, and then eat them! Sadface....my back yard is literally coral. No grass, just really uncomfortable stabby rocks and that are uncomfortable when you walk on them. I scrape myself all the time exploring back there. There is space under my window that is possible for a little teeny garden, but I have to figure out how to get soil to my place...what to do...
For your laughing pleasure:
This is what happens when you still don't know how to do your laundry. I woke up early to do my handwashing, but not early enough. I woke up at 8am, should have been 6am. I had to turn my house into a laundry room. I had 5 lines strewn across my room. Ugh...one day no more stiff clothes, no more moldy clothes, no more wet clothes. Jesus.
I love how the Jamaican Patois changes spelling for everything. It is a spoken language, not written, but people write it phonetically so when you see it spelled around town...I smile. I stopped by this rasta shack selling natural soups on the side of the road (amazing soup fyi) one soup was spelled, Rice and Pumking soup. Hehe. And they like to switch around a bunch of words. Just a little Patois 101. AKA jus a likl patwa 101.
little-likl
bundle-bongl
driver-jriava
bottle-bokl
Present tense examples:
I am walking to work.--Mi a walk fi work.
I am baking cake. -- Mi a bake cake.
Past tense examples:
I went there yesterday. -- Mi did go deer yessadai.
She died last month. --Har did die las mont.
Future tense examples:
I am going to go to town. -- Mi a go fi town.
I will get married and have children. --Mi wi get married an av pikni.
**I can go on and on but there is more to say.
For instance, I have something to say about beans. I love black beans, maybe even more than chocolate. Actually, no, I don't. Maybe I can say if you combined my love for black beans and cheese together it would add up to my love for chocolate. Not the point. What I want to say is that finding black beans is almost impossible. Of course, it is my nature to want what I can't have. But alas, the Hi/Lo (3rd world Safeway) had a shipment of black beans. I didn't even care man, I cleaned them out.
I now have a months worth of black beans and it makes me very happy. I made huevos rancheros tonight for me and my neighbor Sandy. Oh my was it good. Eggs here are kind of watery so they don't cook right, the cheese isn't very good and very expensive, and I can't afford salsa because it is even more expensive so it wasn't my very best, but it was certainly my very best Jamaican huevos rancheros. Dang, and I was a cooking fool! I almost forgot to write that I also made homemade cornbread from scratch! Not only that, I made it with stone ground cornmeal, whole wheat flour, and I added an entire scotch bonnet (think hottest pepper on earth) and chunks of cheese. So dang good.
Things I want to write about but don't have time to:
Things I miss (Mexican Food)
Things I am irritated with (Jamaican men...assholes)
Things I appreciate (Friends)
Things that hurt (Constipation)
Things that are 2 weeks late (Aunt flow)
But I can't because it is 11pm and I have to find thirteen jokes to write out on 13 pieces of scratch paper. My neighbor is going to Turkey tomorrow and I try to make her laugh everyday...I want to continue this even if it is in spirit. She is also someone I could write an entire blog about. My Peace Corps Neighbor Sandy. She is amazing and makes my experience here so much better.
Anyways....
Likl more.
Andrea: Hey how are you??!! Sorry it smells so bad in here. (very smelly inside meeting room)
Me: Hey! I'm good. I don't mind the smell at all actually. I like it. I grew up in the country and miss the smell of cow.
Andrea: Really? There aren't any cows around here. I think it is dog shit.
Me: Um, oh. Yeah.
Tami, queen of smooth. Seriously people, why?
The meeting was alright. It was actually really boring and hot. Needed, but long, boring and hot. Because it was boring, I will recap the highlights. First, I got curried goat for lunch. I LOVE curried goat. It tastes a lot like lamb. Really fatty and soft and delicious...mmm. It is too expensive to buy usually but lunch was free. Second, my supervisor fell asleep. I had to nudge him awake. Oh Obie-wan-kanobi. How I adore thee. I had a third but forgot what it was. Oh! I remember. I got seeds. A ton of them. Like 15 packets. Mind you they are expired Wal-Mart seeds that I was told by a farmer in Negril they probably won't grow well. But I want to grow a garden. I want the project. I get to get dirty, and weed, and watch things grow, and then eat them! Sadface....my back yard is literally coral. No grass, just really uncomfortable stabby rocks and that are uncomfortable when you walk on them. I scrape myself all the time exploring back there. There is space under my window that is possible for a little teeny garden, but I have to figure out how to get soil to my place...what to do...
For your laughing pleasure:
This is what happens when you still don't know how to do your laundry. I woke up early to do my handwashing, but not early enough. I woke up at 8am, should have been 6am. I had to turn my house into a laundry room. I had 5 lines strewn across my room. Ugh...one day no more stiff clothes, no more moldy clothes, no more wet clothes. Jesus.
I love how the Jamaican Patois changes spelling for everything. It is a spoken language, not written, but people write it phonetically so when you see it spelled around town...I smile. I stopped by this rasta shack selling natural soups on the side of the road (amazing soup fyi) one soup was spelled, Rice and Pumking soup. Hehe. And they like to switch around a bunch of words. Just a little Patois 101. AKA jus a likl patwa 101.
little-likl
bundle-bongl
driver-jriava
bottle-bokl
Present tense examples:
I am walking to work.--Mi a walk fi work.
I am baking cake. -- Mi a bake cake.
Past tense examples:
I went there yesterday. -- Mi did go deer yessadai.
She died last month. --Har did die las mont.
Future tense examples:
I am going to go to town. -- Mi a go fi town.
I will get married and have children. --Mi wi get married an av pikni.
**I can go on and on but there is more to say.
For instance, I have something to say about beans. I love black beans, maybe even more than chocolate. Actually, no, I don't. Maybe I can say if you combined my love for black beans and cheese together it would add up to my love for chocolate. Not the point. What I want to say is that finding black beans is almost impossible. Of course, it is my nature to want what I can't have. But alas, the Hi/Lo (3rd world Safeway) had a shipment of black beans. I didn't even care man, I cleaned them out.
I now have a months worth of black beans and it makes me very happy. I made huevos rancheros tonight for me and my neighbor Sandy. Oh my was it good. Eggs here are kind of watery so they don't cook right, the cheese isn't very good and very expensive, and I can't afford salsa because it is even more expensive so it wasn't my very best, but it was certainly my very best Jamaican huevos rancheros. Dang, and I was a cooking fool! I almost forgot to write that I also made homemade cornbread from scratch! Not only that, I made it with stone ground cornmeal, whole wheat flour, and I added an entire scotch bonnet (think hottest pepper on earth) and chunks of cheese. So dang good.
Things I want to write about but don't have time to:
Things I miss (Mexican Food)
Things I am irritated with (Jamaican men...assholes)
Things I appreciate (Friends)
Things that hurt (Constipation)
Things that are 2 weeks late (Aunt flow)
But I can't because it is 11pm and I have to find thirteen jokes to write out on 13 pieces of scratch paper. My neighbor is going to Turkey tomorrow and I try to make her laugh everyday...I want to continue this even if it is in spirit. She is also someone I could write an entire blog about. My Peace Corps Neighbor Sandy. She is amazing and makes my experience here so much better.
Anyways....
Likl more.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Donkey Tacos, Flying Cockroaches, and Jurassic Park, oh my!
Some notable notes:
Tacos are amazing. Let me repeat: Tacos are AMAZING. Soft tacos that is. It is impossible to get taco shells that aren't stale. Same goes for tortilla chips, but there is nothing to do about that but make nachos so delicious that you don't notice the stale chips, and soft tacos instead of hard shell. The only real problem is that black beans are hard to come by and cheese is expensive, and salsa is just plain too expensive to buy. This leaves Mexican food for very special occasions, or when I can't stand it anymore. I have finally gotten accustomed to pears. Pears here are known to you Americans as avocados. They are humongous and a little harder and their flavor is a little different. Back home, last summer in fact, I attributed the 10 pounds I gained to eating pears by the spoonful, but here, I can only enjoy them in something. Sandwiches...nachos...crackers with cream cheese and papaya chutney...never alone. Although I am sure you are tired of me blogging about tacos, I feel obligated to explain why I mention Donkey. I have reason to believe that my unusual ground beef (which is expensive here and has been rancid at the stores in the past) was actually quite normal donkey. Apparently, it is not unheard of to sell donkey as beef. I am not complaining. It was damn good donkey.
Next, my battle with cockroaches is intensifying. I think they are winning. It makes me sad. This last attempt at battle resulted in my failed attempt at killing a big fucker. I'm talking big...and juicy and gross. Next thing I know it is crawling up the wall in my bathroom. Keith, my PCV friend who lives in Logwood, played the hero roll and sprayed it and then smashed it and then flushed it, but my screams were so audible that the neighbors came to make sure everything was ok. Damn those cockroaches.
I have realized that I blog so much and they are so long that I actually don't ever even get through my own so I am trying to keep them shorter from now on so lastly...
Jurassic Park man, more like fe fi fo fum. Who's Jurassic now bitch! When I was little, I remember the first movies I ever saw at the theater. I believe they were in this order starting with my first ever big screen flick! 1) Lion King, 2) Home Alone, 3) Free Willy, 4) JURASSIC PARK...saw it twice even! After the movie, I started having nightmares that I was in Jurassic Park and that the dinasaurs were trying to kill me. Then I started having nightmares that they were in my life...like my house and my yard and my town and everything. This was recurring over and over for years! But now, I feel like I have the upperhand. There are more lizards here than birds. They are like pigeons or something. They are freaking everywhere and they are all shapes and sizes and colors. I have them in my house and outside and when I shower they are in my window. I can't even explain how many lizards are everywhere! They look like some of the dinos in my dreams, but now I am big and they are afraid of me! They are super curious and once one jumped on me. Oh yeah, they hop. Did you know lizards hop like bunnies becuase I sure didn't.
Like I said, I could go on...I have so much to report. But you can only read so much. Until next time...
Tacos are amazing. Let me repeat: Tacos are AMAZING. Soft tacos that is. It is impossible to get taco shells that aren't stale. Same goes for tortilla chips, but there is nothing to do about that but make nachos so delicious that you don't notice the stale chips, and soft tacos instead of hard shell. The only real problem is that black beans are hard to come by and cheese is expensive, and salsa is just plain too expensive to buy. This leaves Mexican food for very special occasions, or when I can't stand it anymore. I have finally gotten accustomed to pears. Pears here are known to you Americans as avocados. They are humongous and a little harder and their flavor is a little different. Back home, last summer in fact, I attributed the 10 pounds I gained to eating pears by the spoonful, but here, I can only enjoy them in something. Sandwiches...nachos...crackers with cream cheese and papaya chutney...never alone. Although I am sure you are tired of me blogging about tacos, I feel obligated to explain why I mention Donkey. I have reason to believe that my unusual ground beef (which is expensive here and has been rancid at the stores in the past) was actually quite normal donkey. Apparently, it is not unheard of to sell donkey as beef. I am not complaining. It was damn good donkey.
Next, my battle with cockroaches is intensifying. I think they are winning. It makes me sad. This last attempt at battle resulted in my failed attempt at killing a big fucker. I'm talking big...and juicy and gross. Next thing I know it is crawling up the wall in my bathroom. Keith, my PCV friend who lives in Logwood, played the hero roll and sprayed it and then smashed it and then flushed it, but my screams were so audible that the neighbors came to make sure everything was ok. Damn those cockroaches.
I have realized that I blog so much and they are so long that I actually don't ever even get through my own so I am trying to keep them shorter from now on so lastly...
Jurassic Park man, more like fe fi fo fum. Who's Jurassic now bitch! When I was little, I remember the first movies I ever saw at the theater. I believe they were in this order starting with my first ever big screen flick! 1) Lion King, 2) Home Alone, 3) Free Willy, 4) JURASSIC PARK...saw it twice even! After the movie, I started having nightmares that I was in Jurassic Park and that the dinasaurs were trying to kill me. Then I started having nightmares that they were in my life...like my house and my yard and my town and everything. This was recurring over and over for years! But now, I feel like I have the upperhand. There are more lizards here than birds. They are like pigeons or something. They are freaking everywhere and they are all shapes and sizes and colors. I have them in my house and outside and when I shower they are in my window. I can't even explain how many lizards are everywhere! They look like some of the dinos in my dreams, but now I am big and they are afraid of me! They are super curious and once one jumped on me. Oh yeah, they hop. Did you know lizards hop like bunnies becuase I sure didn't.
Like I said, I could go on...I have so much to report. But you can only read so much. Until next time...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Sex in the City, By Carrie Bradshaw…um...yeah…more like Lizards in the Jungle, By Tami Wallis
Sometimes sitting in a rent-controlled
That is not what I have chosen as my path. Instead, I am 24 and living in
I chose this.
I chose to be uncomfortable for two years. I chose to see and live in another world. I chose to struggle and to feel pain and to experience the exhilaration and satisfaction of succeeding after numerous failures of living and working in a culture that operates at a different speed as the
When I decided to join the Peace Corps, it didn’t matter to me where I went or what I did there. My main motivation was to serve, whatever that means. My life has experienced good and bad, pleasure and pain, opportunities in health care and education. Because I have experienced poverty, and the darkness it brings, naturally being given the chance at education and financial security has afforded me the ability to wake up everyday with a feeling of being rich with a diversity of experience and opportunities. This gratitude is what keeps a smile on my face and strength in my heart.
People talk about success. I talk about success as well, but there is a difference between success and excellence. For me, I equate success with things: money, career, a flashy new car, the newest iPhone. I want to be financially comfortable, but my personal drive is the desire to achieve excellence. I equate excellence with people, relationships, experience, and choices. It is living a life that doesn’t cause harm o others and being the best person I can be to myself and those in my life. Excellence is making choices that are hard, or having conversations that are uncomfortable. Sometimes, excellence is saying no, when you really want to say yes.
Life in
Living in
Getting to work you might have no structure, slow productivity, systems of business that leave something to be desired…such as running water or electricity that goes out from time to time. Learning to adapt to all these things at once is something that challenges you to your core and takes time and patience. Juggling has never been harder.
The walk home involves everything the walk to work involved, but the new sweat is mixing with the old sweat and so suddenly on top of everything else, there may be a certain unpleasant odor that follows you home. I find myself having to work harder to smile and say good evening, when all my strength and patience were used up throughout the day. Running on reserves is dangerous. Let me correct, me running on reserves can be dangerous. Another story for another day.
At the end of the day, there is little else to do but reflect on the day, and reflect on myself. Writing this on a Sunday, I find myself preparing emotionally, mentally, and physically for the week ahead. Instead of wondering if I can buy the new Manolo Blahniks at the end of the week ($400 high heels), I am budgeting so I can enjoy some jerk chicken at my favorite jerk stand. I am reminding myself that things don’t move the same on island time, and realizing that it is way to hot to do anything but slow.
At the end of the day, when I am tired, sweaty, and quite possibly dehydrated, all I can do is smile. I am achieving success by allowing myself permission to fail. Success here comes with patience, something I fail at, but deserve and A for effort. I am also achieving excellence. I am looking inside myself, speaking to others, and contemplating how best to move forward even in the face of fear.
The highlight of my week was not finishing the first draft of a grant I am co-writing that could progress my cause as an environmental educator. My highlight was after stopping at the bike taxi stand where I receive daily harassment, and talking to them, and having them talk to me, instead of at me. Introducing myself and having a human conversation. The next day walking by them most smiled and one held out his fist and said, “Wopm.” I pounded fists and smiled and said “Maanin boys” and kept walking, but my smile remained for the whole walk to work. The other highlight was peeing in a toilet with blue water and watching it turn green. But hey, sometimes it’s the small things that keep me smiling. Sometimes, all you can do is laugh.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Such Great Heights
It blows my mind how easy music can shift your mood. I think right now I feel complacent. I didn't wake up that way. I didn't want to face the day. Not in a bad way, just tired and didn't feel like working. The thunder woke me up at 5am with the house vibrating and it felt like there were bombs going off all around me. Let's just say after that I felt a little...on edge. Once I realized I wasn't in a war zone, I enjoyed listening to the storm outside. I have always loved listening to the rain, but it sounds different here. It is heavy, like it has purpose.
Anyways...music...so I wanted something mellow to start my day. I usually go with Derby, or something equally danceable (sp?) like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers or even my 80's Night Dance Party Mix. If it is singing I want it is usually Fiona Apple of Johnny Cash for the morning. Today I wanted chill. No dancing and singing for Tami's wake up and start the day routine. I put on Iron and Wine and watched the rain and everything felt ok. Slowly, my anxiety subsided, and all the uncertainty that life brings melted away as something that mattered, but that was ok. I feel good.
I have been struggling with my first bouts of boredom this week. I have been totally content having my evenings to read and write and watch but I have been feeling...not lonely exactly, but in the mood for socialization. I can only read and write and watch so much. There is a whole slew of things I can do but the issue there is motivation. After spending much of the day in the sun my energy is zapped. Maybe I need to get in the habit of uppers and downers. Drink my upper, pop my downer. That way, I can drink coffee at 5 and stay up excited about my creative abilities and then pop some xanax to sleep at night. Yes, I will start this routine immediately. Thank god addiction doesn't run in the family or I would be in serious trouble. ;)
I haven't been smoking the ganja but last night, I found myself wishin I had some. Sweet. New idea, I am going to spend 24 hours a day on some sort of mind altering susbstance or stimulant. Life is good. What a party.
Anyways....joking aside (I hope you know I was joking) I am sitting on my bed in my cool house (thank you rain) and eating my first attempt at Peanut Porridge. It is good. Not delicious. Needs work, but I thank Jamaica for loving porridge as much as I do.
I am now going to shower, get ready to start my day, and work on this damn grant!
Until later...
Anyways...music...so I wanted something mellow to start my day. I usually go with Derby, or something equally danceable (sp?) like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers or even my 80's Night Dance Party Mix. If it is singing I want it is usually Fiona Apple of Johnny Cash for the morning. Today I wanted chill. No dancing and singing for Tami's wake up and start the day routine. I put on Iron and Wine and watched the rain and everything felt ok. Slowly, my anxiety subsided, and all the uncertainty that life brings melted away as something that mattered, but that was ok. I feel good.
I have been struggling with my first bouts of boredom this week. I have been totally content having my evenings to read and write and watch but I have been feeling...not lonely exactly, but in the mood for socialization. I can only read and write and watch so much. There is a whole slew of things I can do but the issue there is motivation. After spending much of the day in the sun my energy is zapped. Maybe I need to get in the habit of uppers and downers. Drink my upper, pop my downer. That way, I can drink coffee at 5 and stay up excited about my creative abilities and then pop some xanax to sleep at night. Yes, I will start this routine immediately. Thank god addiction doesn't run in the family or I would be in serious trouble. ;)
I haven't been smoking the ganja but last night, I found myself wishin I had some. Sweet. New idea, I am going to spend 24 hours a day on some sort of mind altering susbstance or stimulant. Life is good. What a party.
Anyways....joking aside (I hope you know I was joking) I am sitting on my bed in my cool house (thank you rain) and eating my first attempt at Peanut Porridge. It is good. Not delicious. Needs work, but I thank Jamaica for loving porridge as much as I do.
I am now going to shower, get ready to start my day, and work on this damn grant!
Until later...
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Ants 7, Tami 1,200. I win.
I think the ole ands and I are having a showdown. I am currently in the lead but I don't know for how long. I spray them, step on them, and sponge them away, but they get into my food, on my bed, in my freaking clothes! Mind you these are not the biting kind thank god. I kill so many of them and I didn't start feeling bad about it until last night. I was sitting on the bench outside my house with my friend Keith and a giant red ant was walking on the pathway and minding its own business. It wasn't trying to terrorize me or my food, but I saw it and just stomped on him. Immediately I recoiled and whimpered a little. When Keith asked what was wrong all I could say was "The ant was just being an ant." And then I started thinking about all the lives I have taken. Those poor ants. I am a mass murderer. Oh well. I guess they should have thought about that before getting into my shit.
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