And then there was SHIT.

Yesterday I had my first regional conference for the environment sector. It ran about 5 hours and was about 2 hours from Negril in Santa Cruz at RADA (Rural Agricultural Development Agency). Two environment volunteers live there and organized it. After not seeing them for over a month, this is how our conversation went:

Andrea: Hey how are you??!! Sorry it smells so bad in here. (very smelly inside meeting room)
Me: Hey! I'm good. I don't mind the smell at all actually. I like it. I grew up in the country and miss the smell of cow.
Andrea: Really? There aren't any cows around here. I think it is dog shit.
Me: Um, oh. Yeah.

Tami, queen of smooth. Seriously people, why?


The meeting was alright. It was actually really boring and hot. Needed, but long, boring and hot. Because it was boring, I will recap the highlights. First, I got curried goat for lunch. I LOVE curried goat. It tastes a lot like lamb. Really fatty and soft and delicious...mmm. It is too expensive to buy usually but lunch was free. Second, my supervisor fell asleep. I had to nudge him awake. Oh Obie-wan-kanobi. How I adore thee. I had a third but forgot what it was. Oh! I remember. I got seeds. A ton of them. Like 15 packets. Mind you they are expired Wal-Mart seeds that I was told by a farmer in Negril they probably won't grow well. But I want to grow a garden. I want the project. I get to get dirty, and weed, and watch things grow, and then eat them! Sadface....my back yard is literally coral. No grass, just really uncomfortable stabby rocks and that are uncomfortable when you walk on them. I scrape myself all the time exploring back there. There is space under my window that is possible for a little teeny garden, but I have to figure out how to get soil to my place...what to do...

For your laughing pleasure:
This is what happens when you still don't know how to do your laundry. I woke up early to do my handwashing, but not early enough. I woke up at 8am, should have been 6am. I had to turn my house into a laundry room. I had 5 lines strewn across my room. Ugh...one day no more stiff clothes, no more moldy clothes, no more wet clothes. Jesus.

I love how the Jamaican Patois changes spelling for everything. It is a spoken language, not written, but people write it phonetically so when you see it spelled around town...I smile. I stopped by this rasta shack selling natural soups on the side of the road (amazing soup fyi) one soup was spelled, Rice and Pumking soup. Hehe. And they like to switch around a bunch of words. Just a little Patois 101. AKA jus a likl patwa 101.

little-likl
bundle-bongl
driver-jriava
bottle-bokl

Present tense examples:

I am walking to work.--Mi a walk fi work.
I am baking cake. -- Mi a bake cake.


Past tense examples:

I went there yesterday. -- Mi did go deer yessadai.
She died last month. --Har did die las mont.

Future tense examples:

I am going to go to town. -- Mi a go fi town.
I will get married and have children. --Mi wi get married an av pikni.


**I can go on and on but there is more to say.


For instance, I have something to say about beans. I love black beans, maybe even more than chocolate. Actually, no, I don't. Maybe I can say if you combined my love for black beans and cheese together it would add up to my love for chocolate. Not the point. What I want to say is that finding black beans is almost impossible. Of course, it is my nature to want what I can't have. But alas, the Hi/Lo (3rd world Safeway) had a shipment of black beans. I didn't even care man, I cleaned them out.
I now have a months worth of black beans and it makes me very happy. I made huevos rancheros tonight for me and my neighbor Sandy. Oh my was it good. Eggs here are kind of watery so they don't cook right, the cheese isn't very good and very expensive, and I can't afford salsa because it is even more expensive so it wasn't my very best, but it was certainly my very best Jamaican huevos rancheros. Dang, and I was a cooking fool! I almost forgot to write that I also made homemade cornbread from scratch! Not only that, I made it with stone ground cornmeal, whole wheat flour, and I added an entire scotch bonnet (think hottest pepper on earth) and chunks of cheese. So dang good.

Things I want to write about but don't have time to:
Things I miss (Mexican Food)
Things I am irritated with (Jamaican men...assholes)
Things I appreciate (Friends)
Things that hurt (Constipation)
Things that are 2 weeks late (Aunt flow)

But I can't because it is 11pm and I have to find thirteen jokes to write out on 13 pieces of scratch paper. My neighbor is going to Turkey tomorrow and I try to make her laugh everyday...I want to continue this even if it is in spirit. She is also someone I could write an entire blog about. My Peace Corps Neighbor Sandy. She is amazing and makes my experience here so much better.

Anyways....

Likl more.