Such Great Heights

It blows my mind how easy music can shift your mood. I think right now I feel complacent. I didn't wake up that way. I didn't want to face the day. Not in a bad way, just tired and didn't feel like working. The thunder woke me up at 5am with the house vibrating and it felt like there were bombs going off all around me. Let's just say after that I felt a little...on edge. Once I realized I wasn't in a war zone, I enjoyed listening to the storm outside. I have always loved listening to the rain, but it sounds different here. It is heavy, like it has purpose.

Anyways...music...so I wanted something mellow to start my day. I usually go with Derby, or something equally danceable (sp?) like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers or even my 80's Night Dance Party Mix. If it is singing I want it is usually Fiona Apple of Johnny Cash for the morning. Today I wanted chill. No dancing and singing for Tami's wake up and start the day routine. I put on Iron and Wine and watched the rain and everything felt ok. Slowly, my anxiety subsided, and all the uncertainty that life brings melted away as something that mattered, but that was ok. I feel good.

I have been struggling with my first bouts of boredom this week. I have been totally content having my evenings to read and write and watch but I have been feeling...not lonely exactly, but in the mood for socialization. I can only read and write and watch so much. There is a whole slew of things I can do but the issue there is motivation. After spending much of the day in the sun my energy is zapped. Maybe I need to get in the habit of uppers and downers. Drink my upper, pop my downer. That way, I can drink coffee at 5 and stay up excited about my creative abilities and then pop some xanax to sleep at night. Yes, I will start this routine immediately. Thank god addiction doesn't run in the family or I would be in serious trouble. ;)

I haven't been smoking the ganja but last night, I found myself wishin I had some. Sweet. New idea, I am going to spend 24 hours a day on some sort of mind altering susbstance or stimulant. Life is good. What a party.

Anyways....joking aside (I hope you know I was joking) I am sitting on my bed in my cool house (thank you rain) and eating my first attempt at Peanut Porridge. It is good. Not delicious. Needs work, but I thank Jamaica for loving porridge as much as I do.

I am now going to shower, get ready to start my day, and work on this damn grant!

Until later...